Suicidal Thoughts

Are they normal to have or not? Why is there a stigma around suicide? Is it okay to talk about it openly? And who can you reach out to when you feel helpless? Let’s take a look.

Picture this. Things are getting hectic at work or in your studies. You missed a couple of deadlines and know you cannot show up at your workplace because you have failed to complete your work again. Your social life is terrible, you are left out whenever people you call ‘friends’ hang out together. All the people around you do not understand what you are going through. Your relationship is strained because you can’t spend time with your lover and are stressed because of all the work you have to do. At the same time, your parents have expectations of you, and you know deep down that you will never be able to live up to them. You spend the day lying on the bed, and for a moment, a thought crosses your mind.

“I wish I was never alive.”

Thoughts that go like “I wish I weren’t alive", “No one cares if I am dead or alive”, or even “I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up again” count as suicidal thoughts. A person having suicidal thoughts may or may not be in the stage of “suicide ideation," where one actively plans to end one’s life, whereas a person with suicidal thoughts may not necessarily intend to end their life.

How common are these thoughts among the masses? Well, they are more common than you think. A study by NIMH, USA shows that 4.9% of adults aged 18 and older in the United States had serious thoughts about suicide in 2020, i.e. roughly 1 lakh individuals in the population of 2 crores. As per the figure below, we can see that ‘suicidal thoughts’ are significantly higher in the 18–25 age group.

Suicidal thoughts are quite common, but not everyone having these thoughts actually wants to take their own life. Suicidal thoughts can be active or passive. The more these thoughts feel comforting to a person, the higher the risk of acting on the thoughts. Fixating on dying is not healthy, even if it is common or feels like a way to get through a stressful situation [1]. A person who is actively contemplating suicide is in immediate danger. What can you do if you are having suicidal thoughts?

Suicidal thoughts usually stem from a sense of helplessness or hopelessness. Sharing your feelings with someone might make you feel supported and offer you hope. Sharing your feelings with another person relieves much of the stress of going through it alone.

It takes courage to admit that you are having suicidal thoughts, and it is even more challenging to tell someone about them. But expressing your emotions is necessary because doing so is the first step in getting support. Maybe you have tried sharing your thoughts and people do not understand what you exactly feel like. Maybe they do not take you seriously when you seek out. What can you do then?

One might feel lonely and hesitate to express their feelings to their friends or coworkers, maybe due to a lack of trust or estrangement. In such a case, you can feel free to contact the institute counsellors. Our institute offers the services of both counsellors and visiting psychiatrists. Counsellors specialize primarily in psychotherapy. They will help you with psychological issues and better understand your feelings. Meanwhile, psychiatrists are registered medical doctors specialising in helping clients cope with their mental health concerns by prescribing medication. “In many cases, counsellors and psychiatrists work hand in hand to address a person’s mental health concerns. [2]

According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, 50 to 75% of people who attempt suicide talk about their suicidal thoughts, feelings, and plans before the act. So we know that people who feel suicidal are more likely to speak out about what is going on in their minds. Well, then, why do we hesitate to talk about suicide with them? A common myth associated with suicide is that talking about suicide will plant the idea of suicide in the person’s mind. This is completely untrue. A person who is suicidal has probably had thoughts of ending their own life often in their mind. So if someone discusses their suicidal thoughts, it is okay to go ahead and ask a question like, “Do you sometimes feel so bad that you think of suicide?​”, “Are you having thoughts of harming yourself?” or “Do you feel like hurting yourself?” These questions will help you assess immediate danger and refer the person to a counselor.

The stigma associated with suicide may result from a failure to understand how complex suicide is. According to the suicide prevention organization StandBy, the stigma attached to suicide is often rooted in misplaced associations of weakness, blame, shame, and even sin or crime. This stigma can be of two types:

1) Public or personal stigma — This is when society applies negative stereotypes or gives labels to the person who ended their life. People may apply common labels like “they were selfish” or “they took the easy way out.”

2) Self-stigma — This is when a person has negative attitudes or beliefs about their situation. They hesitate from reaching out, fearing the labels that society applies to people who think of suicide. Also it might have happened that they have tried reaching out but the person they reached out did not fully understand or validate their emotions. They would have thoughts like “What will others think of me if I tell them I’m suicidal”

The unfortunate effect of suicide stigma is that people hesitate to seek help when needed. It can increase feelings of self-doubt, shame, and embarrassment and worsen a person’s mental well-being. In a study published in the British Journal of Psychiatry, 83% of participants felt conscious of the stigma associated with mental illness and had difficulty seeking help. [3]

How can you help?

1) Be Aware of the warning signs. It’s not always possible to know when someone needs help, but there are suicide warning signs that you can look out for.

2) Try to be more empathetic to people approaching you with their thoughts. Sharing ones thoughts requires a lot of courage and its important to keep in mind that people are not always looking for a solution for their problems. Validate their thoughts and comfort them.

3) Examine your thought processes and knowledge. Are they completely right? Could you be more sensitive to the stigma associated with suicide? Enable people to believe their own experiences and not rely on stereotypes.

4) Refer people needing help to a counsellor or a psychiatrist. If the person needs immediate help, do not leave the person alone.

5) Talk openly about suicide and work to raise awareness about mental health in our communities. Participate in discussions and events between individuals with and without mental problems. This will help improve attitudes and increase future willingness to help.

Credits- Nivin Vinod.
Entire Blog on Medium- https://medium.com/@nivin2002cs/ec8d7c45a8dd